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cutting my teeth

from This Great Such and Such by AP Macroeconomics

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lyrics

and we’ll make our plans as if I’m not falling apart— we’ll go for drinks, let’s grab a bite, I’ll book my greyhound bus; and we’ll be friends— maybe I won’t talk so much— we’ll fake shake hands then really hug and say, “let’s keep in touch”; at what point do I say “I’m depressed day by day”? I’m not myself in spades, but does it really matter anyway? not like it’s something that I’ll say so maybe let’s just enjoy these days; it’s been a month and things have changed enough; I said I’d go for longer walks but only did it once; and I’ve tried— how I’ve tried so fucking hard— but sad’s a sick persistent bitch and my friends* think I’m fun (*someday I hope to be one); I’m cutting my teeth and it takes more than seven weeks; but I’ll be at peace, at least to say I’ll try to be; alone; picture of my ghost sits on the lock screen of my phone ‘cos sometimes I need to see a friendly face; and it takes more than sixty days

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from This Great Such and Such, released April 1, 2023

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